I am addicted to worship...

I have been around worship all of my life. I know the routine. When I was a kid Pastor Stone would strike a cord, shake his mullet, raise an eyebrow and sing the first few cords of a great ballad to the Lord. But I didn't appreciate worship then. It was a spectacle, something that made church go by faster. Back then, the only fun times we had in worship was when Pastor Stone broke out the songs that included hand motions or told stories or contained rapping...I am positive that everyone loves a little "Whose Side Are You Leaning On" or "Walking in The Footsteps of His Faith" every once in a while. I still sometimes break out rapping "you see its the letter of the law that shows you the flaw where in the nature of the flesh you fall..." Or there was the classic worship charade...getting "slain in the spirit." It was typical, it was easy and it got the teachers every time. You see chapel was before math, and math before English, and English before social studies and so on an so forth. Well, the best way to "trick" your teachers was to make it appear you had gotten "slain in the spirit" during chapel. It consisted of this: break up into a circle of friends, draw straws for who gets to be "slain", proceed to speak fervently in tongues, and then after a rousing invocation, gently push the receiver back catching them gently and sliding them onto the floor. After this was done it was simple. The person who got "slain" simply had to remain in a state of unconsciousness for a long duration of time. However long they could stay still and incoherent was how long they got to skip out of class. If you were lucky you missed math, even luckier you missed math and then half of English [but those were the best actors among us mind you]. Oh yes...we were rebels...in our own very special way.

So the moral of that story is simply to say I have been around worship a lot and a lot of worship has been around me. I know all the forms, I know what different hand postures mean, and I know what songs call for a bending the knee or jumping up and down. I could possibly right a book called "Worship for Dummies." I would say I am a worship connoisseur. I know the good worship times versus the bad ones. And that is the religious side of me. The non-religious side of me, the side that I am growing in more and more everyday cannot explain worship anymore. I can't fit it into a box or mold it into something I used to know. My mind has been shattered to any presupposition I have ever had about worship and as a result I have seen worship as the key to unlocking the glory of God in my life.

Tonight I was at a congregation meeting. I thought it was going to be just like any other congregation. We would get there, we would sit in the seats, we would worship, Pastor Norm would talk and we would leave...hopefully early. But tonight was different. I walked in and I found my seat, I hugged people, and then worship started. I moved up towards the front where more people were worshiping [because sometimes its good to experience that coorporate dynamic] and just began to lose myself in worship. And the spirit of the Lord fell so hard on us. I can't even explain because for the most part I was left speechless. All we could do was sing the song "Come and let your presence fill our praise, fill our praise, come and let Your presence fill this place....for You are the One we want to meet, Jesus shine through all the praises that we sing...ITS ALL FOR YOU, HERE I AM, HERE I AM." And we sang, and we worshiped, and we bowed, and we stood in the Holy presence of the Lord. And it was in that time when I thought to myself "There is absolutely no other place I would want to ever be then in worship with my Father."And all I could do was kneel because I am in love with Him. I don't love Him because He makes me feel good or He makes awesome things happen for me. I just love Him because He loves me...and He shouldn't love me, He has no reason too. But He does. Its unexplainable, its undeniable and its unforgettable and I can't help but to love Him back.

What Am I Waiting For?

At the beginning of this year the Lord gave me a promise. He said "Morgan, this year something BIG is going to happen in your life. I am going to bust open your world and change it radically from the inside out." I heard that on New Years Eve as I was sitting in my room and I believed it. I was excited and could hardly wait to count down the seconds to the year where all my dreams would come true. But that's just the thing...all I've been doing is waiting. All I have been doing is sitting here wondering when this big opportunity was going to be dropped in my lap. I have even said "God you DO remember what You said right??" I realize its only been a half of a month but I have ALOT of dreams and I have been promised ALOT and I thought that maybe I would see something come about just like clockwork.

Now I am not saying all that to express my doubt and unbelief, my ungratefulness or negativity in the Lord. Quite on the contrary. It has revealed to me the pride, apathy and lack of initiative I am experiencing right now. And the question lingers: What AM I waiting for?

At youth group tonight I was struck by the words that kept flowing out of my mouth. I was completely preaching to myself. We spoke on the theme of New Beginnings and taking dominion in our lives. And I realized one thing: I cannot be a person who is always waiting for God to give me something more. I know that God's desire is to give me more but not if I am not actively searching that "more" out. The way I see it now is that if I go and knock on a door just to see if it opens and it doesn't, but instead the one next to it opens, at least I had myself positioned in a place where I could see the neighboring door. If I am just home, sitting on my couch eating potato chips, how am I going to see any door that God wants to open in my life? I need to at least be in the neighborhood of where God is working.

We were not created to be a passive people. We were made to fight and to strive for something. God honors effort and He honors initiative. One of my favorite quotes says, "If the Holy Spirit is not moving then I will move the Holy Spirit!" What is stopping me from getting everything God has promised me right now? I know God does not withhold one good thing from us...so if He doesn't withhold it from us, then we must not be reaching high enough or running fast enough. The lack of abundance, the lack of fulfilled dreams, the lack of practiced passions...thats not Gods fault, thats not Him "tricking" us. The lack in our life is simply from us not fighting for Him as hard as we should.

So I am done waiting. I am done being familiar with the good things in my life. I know that the generations before me have fought and fought so that I might be where I am today. But one thing I must gain for myself: figuring out what I personally must fight for. What door should I be knocking on? What neighborhood should I be in? AM I even in the right city? The right state? I hope so but if I am not then I at least know how to read a map and get there....

Can this painting change the world?

This is why I live...

Do you ever have moments in life when you feel like you were created for nothing else but that moment? Do you ever just pause and look at who you are and think...WOW...I have the ability to burn for something, to fight for something, to love something with all of my heart. I have talked to several people recently who have stumbled across their "Esther" moment as I like to call it. The moment where they can say "For such a time as this I was born!" I think it is for that feeling that we live and wake up each day, somehow hoping that somewhere along our waking moments we will feel alive. Because surely the One who created us had a specific intent in mind. He didn't just throw us together as an afterthought, He created a passion, He created a dream, He created a purpose and then...after all that planning...He created us. It is our joy in life to search out the distinct mystery of what catches us on fire. And yes, the general answer is JESUS, but what leads us to Jesus in our daily lives? And so i began thinking....

Someone could be reading a poem, a book, a newspaper article and after their eyes glance away from that page, something burns in them. They long to write, they ache to put pen to paper because what other way can they express the greatest mystery of His love! Can you change the world with a pen and a paper? Perhaps that was the Creators intent in making you a writer...

Someone could be taking pictures and upon seeing the unfolding beauty before them know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they were called to capture His beauty. He has given them eyes to see purity in people, majesty in creation, and delight in life. Could you change the world if you could capture that? Perhaps that was the Creator's intent in making you a photographer...

Someone could be sitting on the bus, going to school and out of nowhere start a theological debate with the stranger on his right. The orator marvels for a split second at how eloquently the words flow out of his mouth with really no previous thought. Could you change the world with the words you speak from the thoughts you think? Perhaps that was the Creators intent in making you a politician...

Someone could be watching a movie, listening to the radio, or mindlessly humming a familiar tune when they stop...and for a moment they wonder just what it would take to turn the entertainment system of America back to Him. The person thinks, just for a moment, that they can sing, surely they can act...what is indeed stopping them. Can you change the world if you can sing the right note or memorize the right lines? Perhaps that was the Creators intent in making you an actor or a singer....

Someone could be tutoring their little brother in math. The numbers just come to them, as easy as it is to breathe. But the beauty is not found in the numbers themselves, but in the revealing of how they function to someone who could not see it before. And this person longs to reveal Gods creation to others, and they can. Can you change the world by teaching little boys and little girls their ABC's and 123's. Perhaps that was the Creators intent in making you a teacher....

Someone could be walking by a little boy on the side of the road and immediately tears fall down their face. For no explainable reason their heart breaks for this little boy. But that is what their heart was created to break for...the fatherless, the needy, the insecure, the hopeless. Could you change the world if you restored one heart at a time? Perhaps that was the Creators intent in making you a pastor...

So...have you found your Esther moment yet. The moment where you realize you were created to burn for something. For someone. But a fire can't burn unless there is kindling, unless there is a match. What is the fuel to your fire?

Mine is that ability to create something out of nothing. Its the ability to take a piece of paper and turn it into a young girls heart or a teenage boys dream. Its the ability to make paint cry out the name of Jesus and make led and ink declare His glory filling the earth. Thats what He has given me. Could I change the world if I drew the right picture? Perhaps that was the Creators intent in making me an artist....

We were created to live for something. For someone actually. How do we live. Do we live as a people on fire or do we live as a people always cold because we can't find the right matches.

Are you a burning one....

Verse of the Year

Phillipians 4

Celebrate God all day, every day. I mean, revel in him! Make it as clear as you can to all you meet that you're on their side, working with them and not against them. Help them see that the Master is about to arrive. He could show up any minute!

Don't fret or worry. Instead of worrying, pray. Let petitions and praises shape your worries into prayers, letting God know your concerns. Before you know it, a sense of God's wholeness, everything coming together for good, will come and settle you down. It's wonderful what happens when Christ displaces worry at the center of your life

Summing it all up, friends, I'd say you'll do best by filling your minds and meditating on things true, noble, reputable, authentic, compelling, gracious—the best, not the worst; the beautiful, not the ugly; things to praise, not things to curse. Put into practice what you learned from me, what you heard and saw and realized. Do that, and God, who makes everything work together, will work you into his most excellent harmonies.

I'm glad in God, far happier than you would ever guess—happy that you're again showing such strong concern for me. Not that you ever quit praying and thinking about me. You just had no chance to show it. Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.


---This is my verse of the year from the message version. The key God is showing me to win in all areas of life is to never take life into our own hands. He is in control. He sees the big picture- we do not. His plans for us are good. His promises for us are yes and amen. All He requires of us is for purity to be expressed in every situation and to always, no matter how we feel or what is weighing down on us, to be content in Him. Thats my favorite line "I;ve learned how to be quite content whatever my circumstances!" My prayer is the I will soon be able to say that with confidence. God your taking me through the fire right now- I am content. God Your blessings are overflowing me- I am content. God do what you must with my life and with my circumstance- I am and will be content. Content but never satisfied!

Only You Can Satisfy...

On the second day of the fast I found myself listening to Misty Edwards "Lovesick." My cry these last two days has been "God consume me with thoughts of You as much as I am consumed by thoughts of food." It seems silly but if I am honest with myself I have thought about food, or the lack thereof, quit a few times. Last night at prayer all I could think about was a hamburger. Why? I don't know. Finally I got to the point where I had to say "Jesus Your my hamburger!" And that is not meant to degrade Him but meant to remind me that I am doing this for Him and for His purpose to be won in my life. He needs to be the ruler of my mind...of all my thoughts. Misty Edwards song is so relevant to my hearts cry right now:

Lovesick for my Beloved....my Beloved and my Friend
Only You can satisfy! Only You can satisfy!
Try as I may to chase another lover
I find there is there is no other
[all the other lovers fade away]
Only You can satisfy! Only You can satisfy!
And happy am I to live a hungry life
And blessed am I to thirst
And my desire for You, it is my gift within
I am blessed, I am blessed among men
This is the generation that's tried everything
This is the generation of Jacob
This is the generation thats done all those things
But only You can satisfy, only You can satisfy
This is the generation looking for the face of God
This is the generation of Jacob
This is the generation searching for the face of God
And only You can satisfy, only You can satisfy
And the Spirit and the Bride say "Come"
We say "Come"!

This is a week where my choice has been to give everything up to seek Him with everything I have. The reality is I don't feel like my everything is enough for all of Him. And its not. What a great God we serve. The beauty of relationship with Christ is that we don't need to have anything, or do anything...its in our desperation that He can be made real in our life. As the song said we have tried everything, we have done all those things but we can only be satisfied with Him and Him alone. Not Him plus something. Its in my desperation that He can become the ruler of my life. I have nothing, I am nothing, in myself nothing is good- but if I lay all of me down then He can come and fill me up. For way to long I have pretended to give up myself for Him, to sacrifice everything. But what is a fast if at the end I haven't gotten a new revelation of Christ. I am tired of never advancing. I am tired of always wanting to be somewhere but never getting there. My desire rigmy ht now is for Christ to become real in life. More real then the food I eat. In the movie August Rush there was a scene when August was talking to that young black girl as she was playing the piano. She simply asked him, "Do you like music." And August's simple quick reply was "Yes, more than food." And she just looked at him with that blank stare. ...

Yes. I love God. More than food actually. More than anything.

2007- A Little Review of the Highlights

Today is the first day of 2008 and I felt like it would only be appropriate for me to go back into 2007 and remember the good times and the God times that I have had. SO this blog is more of a place for me to remember...and maybe for you to enjoy :)


January 01, 2007 found me four months into my Extern year at Christ Church Kirkland. January 9th and 10th marked the departure dates of the ten other externs who would be leaving for michigan and santa rosa. I remember those days vividly because they were some of the saddest/happiest days i experienced this year. There were three different teams, but we were all unified. Every morning we would meet in the small classroom now Roni and Kelseys office to pray and start our day. New Years Eve last year we all ushered in the new year with all night worship. It was a milestone marking a new beginning for all of us. But the two other teams left and we found ourselves alone as the CCK Extern team. Our team was diverse: Bryan as leader, Emily as co-leader, Abbey Williams, Evan Roslan, Chris Wygant, Crystal Coombs and myself. We had our fair share of struggles just in relating with one another, but for the most part we were able to rise above our differences and accomplish the will of the Lord for our lives. We started an outreach class in the school, we would clean local churches, we were "volunteers of the month" for six straight months at the Kirkland Teen Center among many other things. I got to be "art director" at the Kirkland Teen Center that year. Everything having to do with art, they would always run by me. My favorite project was a giant wall calender that I painted. It is still
there.

Also during the year we truly began stepping into prophetic painting. This played a major major role in my life. Never before had I been able to so feel the presence of the Lord doing something I absolutely loved to do, and the best thing was that it blessed other people. I am 100% sure that prophetic painting has opened up doors in my life, and thrust me into situations that I never could have dreamed of in a million years. I am so excited to see where the Lord is going to take me in this year of new beginnings and His dominion in the realm of painting and art. Creativity is going to be released in a huge wave over us during this new year. I pray that I get drowned in that wave when it comes in. I'll dance in that rain!

Another event that has changed my life is Revival Culture Prayer every Saturday night. There is nothing like fellowshiping with other radicals, other people who want to set the world on fire. It usually consists of crazy worship, most people end up drunk on the floor or facedown in reverence, prophesying, intercessory prayer, painting, poetry, and crazy LOVE FOR JESUS. We also have a pretty fun time. A few weeks ago we got to do a hot chocolate outreach- a lot of people were scared of us...more were just angry that we wouldn't put some Baileys in our hot chocolate. All we could say was "Maybe next time???" We have seen radical healings and have experienced broken lives changed. A lot is going to happen in this prayer group this year. Keep your eye on it, watch it explode. We have big plans, crazy dreamers and a God to whom nothing is impossible! PAR-T!


I was also blessed to go on a second MC tour. Let me tell you there are not many things funner than loading up 40 crazy kids and a couple fearless leaders into four white vans and heading across the country to deliver Jesus. I only got to go on the second part of the tour but I took what I could! We made our first stop Albequerque New Mexico and stayed with Pastor Gerlad Martinez. [interesting note about their family: they are one of five families who might be picked for Exterme Makeover Home Edition- PRAY] I got to stay at their "compound" and hang out with ther awesome daughters Maggie Jean and Bethany. They were eleven and twelve. If anyone knows me, you know I have a huge heart for young girls. One girl, named Thea, opened up to me that trip. At first she was hard, defensive, and I almost didn't like her! But as time went on, I could tell that she was hurting. At the last ministy time I was sitting on a chair just praying for her from a distance, and after a battle I coudl tell was going on in her mind, she came up to me. She immediately started crying and I just hugged her. She looked at me and said, "Morgan, my daddy left me and I don't know if he's coming back and I just want to give up". It broke my heart into a million peices but I ministered to her and just loved on her...she left with a new hope. We both cried when I got back into the vans to head to Oklahoma, but I will never forget that little red headed girl...I will never forget other girls in her place.

Oklahoma was also great because we got to launch a new MC over there. It is the first masters commission that four churches came together to build. Its so awesome to see such unity. The picture on the left shows us doing our opener "African Freestyle" at an outdoor park. I got to give my testimony here and it was just amazing. Thats what we call "flying". That was a really fun dance to learn. Also one of the only ones I was in. I did get to write and direct "Can I Live" a song by Nick Cannon about abortion. It was powerful and wish we could have done it for more people. I also wrote and directed "Sound of Our Genereation" which we performed at family camp. In Oklahoma we did the most park ministries. I painted thousands of kids faces. The hand design on the right was a popular favorite amongst most kids. It was time consuming so I finally had to teach about 5 other MCs how to do it because thats all the kids wanted. What can I say, we're just cool like that! :)We then found ourselves in Michigan which was one of my favorite stops. Ministry there was the bomb...it was our last stop and I think God saved the best for last. Plus we got to see the extern's whom we hadn't seen in five months! It was a happy slappy reunion. We got the opportunity to do a life siege there: We went to the capitol one day and it just poured down rain. I haven't seen it rain like that even in Seattle. There was thunder and lightning and winds up to 30 mph. That didn't stop us. We felt like the rain was a symbol of God's tears for His lost children. So we stood in the rain, we kneeled in puddles, we laid down on the wet cement. There was not a dry body or a dry eye for that matter. Our life tape was falling of our mouths becuase it was so wet- but our cries were heard. People stared, people prayed and people were changed. As soon as we ended, as soon as we finished praying, as soon as we ripped off our life tape, the sun came out- there was a rainbow, an the most random event of all: a bride walked through the capitol building, alone and in her dress. It was the most powerful symbolism I have ever seen. I will never forget that day. That night we ministered to the church. The way we ministered is that we would get a word of knowldege and give it to the audience, someone would come up and we would pray. Well I had a word of knowledge that there were people who wanted to receive the gift of speaking in tongues. About five people came up: a married couple, a single adult, and two kids. We prayed for the adults, they received their prayer language. We prayed for the teenager, Nate Vasquez put his hand on his sternum and immediately the kid looked up and said "what did you jsut do?" Nate hadn't done anyhting and to our amazement the kid had broken his sternum when he was two and it had never healed, when Nate put his hand on his sternum...the boy was immediately healed! Then there was another boy named Scottie, about 14. Scottie seemed to be shy and was not receiving his prayer language. I grabbed Joel and we went to pray for Scottie. After praying for him I asked him "Scottie, what is the one desire of your heart." He looked at us and slowly, after thinking, responded "I just want to feel Him and know He is there" Me and Joel both looked at eachother, touched and our heart longing for the Lord to touch this boy. We prayed and prayed and after some more praying Scottie was slain in the spirit, shaking violently on the floor and sobbing. Neither of us were expecting this but as Scottie was down and inchoerent me and Joel began breaking of demonic strongholds and Scottie would just cry harder. Finally we began speaking life. We spoke over his voice...that he was a man with something to say and words to speak. That he would move nations with his words. When we said those things he started laughing uncontrolably. After more time on the floor he finally stood up. He hugged all of us and immediately turned to everyone smiling "I FELT HIM I FELT HIM." His discipler later came up to us and told us the Scottie has a speech impetement and is afraid to talk. But that night Scottie's speech impetement was broken and He felt the Lord. I will never ever forget that night.

Tour was priceless. I wouldn't trade those memories for the world. I went to Disneyland for the first time and I got to go with Pastor Kevin. That trip is going to be a hard one to pass up. Then there was that time Amanda Cradduck dropped CC2 keys in the toilet and I had to rescue them. She is eternally thankful. Then there is the always fun and special moments where someone almost pees their pants because Pastor Kevin won't stop for another two hours. And then the "pee cd" comes on and you hear over all the CB'S "Time...Time...Is ticking by...and I...can feel...an explosion inside!" Then there is worship in the vans, your lucky if you get the van that has a cd player loud enough to rise above people with unpleasant voices such as myself. Or there's "van counts please.....[silence]...CC2 VAN COUNTS! People we have done this a million times!" Its always funny...unless your in CC2. It was a once in a lifetime experience..and I got to do it twice!

Well...before this turns into a novel I will end. I graduated a phenomenal externs year at family camp when they announced the courtship of Elise Sandstrom and Jeff Mitchell. We are all looking forward to that wedding in a few months! And after that it was so long Academy, so long MCs I am off to college! I have been at BCC and its been a struggle, I must admit but its also been a blessing. I got a job at the empire of Starbucks and I get free coffee all day long! You can't go wrong with free coffee. I am eagerly anticipating this next quarter of school because I don't know what God has for me but I trust and I KNOW that He is good and His promises are yes and amen.

I thank God for His hand in my life this past year. He has not once left me or let me fall. He is faithful, good and true. He has blessed me with people in my life who I would not trade for the entire world. He has blessed me with friends who are closer than any sisters and who I can fight this battle called life along side of...and win! I am grateful for where I am in life...and though at times it seems hard, it seems rough, it seems like I just want to give up...its in those times where I stand and decide that He is worth it all. He IS worth it all. And I keep saying it and saying it until I believe it because its true and it is for such a hope that I live. 2008 was announced as the Year of His DOminion and New Beginnings. Its going to be a year to cut off all ties with the old and cling to the new. Its a year to run hard after Him...and that is my new year resolution. I am going to run after Him like I have never run after Him before. You are all welcome to join me because nothing is worse in battle then fighting alone.