My Best Friends Courtship...

So this is an account of the lovely courtship of Ryan Stevie and Kaylee Johnson from my perspective...Its the account of the drama, the turmoil, the butterflies and the love- or should I say "like" [or as it has come to be written around these parts: l**e]...Kaylee, this ones for you

Saturday Feb 9th Kaylee woke me up with a phone call. It was about 10 am and yes, I like to sleep. She just wanted to talk, like we usually do, and I noticed that she was in a very very good mood. I was trying to figure out why she was so happy but I figured it was her new sister. At this point, she didn't even know why she was so happy, she just knew it was going to be a good day. I oftened wondered during this conversation how a day could be "good" when it was -50 degrees outside and you just swept up a dead mouse into your dustpan, but Kaylee continues to amaze me. She mentioned to me that her parents were taking her out to dinner and neither of us thought much of it...

Then, I got a phone call around 430 my time. Its not uncommon for me to speak to Kay everyday, but twice a day is a little unusual. So she called, I answered, and then she freaked!!

"Morgan, morgan, Morgan, I am freaking out. My parents are being weird. They told me to go to Bismark to meet with them but they are being all weird about it and they won't let me drive with them? Why won't they let me drive with them? And Morgan, my hair- its working perfectly...my hair never works perfectly unless something big is about to happen!!! Its probably nothing, I just need you to tell me to calm down."

So I, being born into matchmaking blood, immediately new what these signs meant. Courtship. Its always the same...the giddyness, the beauty, the surprise and suspense. But...Kaylee had lied to me saying there wasn't any guy she liked so as my half of my mind was thinking about courtship, my other half was saying "Kaylee doesn't like anyone"

"Kaylee what do you expect to happen?"

"I dont know Morgan, I really don't"

"Well, do you think a guy is going to come and ask you to court." And as soon as these words left my mouth it hit me. It didn't hit me, it bulldozed me over. Ryan said he was going to Idaho for a Fire conference for a week and he would have left that day. IDAHO MY FOOT!!! And thats when I started freaking out. Of course I wasn't going to tell Kaylee this becuase then she just would have died so I kept it to myself. And as I was saying "Kaylee calm down" I was like "Oh my gosh...Oh Jesus..."

So we hung up. I told her she better call me and tell me what happened. She was at more peace and I was going nuts. Absolutely nuts. She texted me again and said "My mom grabbed her camera, she never grabs her camera...but its probably just to take pictures of Payton." And I though, but didnt say "Why would your mom take pics of Payton, your the photographer". I just said "Yeah probably".

I had to go to prayer that night and I had it all figured out in my mind. If she was just going out with her parents- just to chat, she would be done with dinner at about 930 meaning she would call me at 730 my time BUT if Ryan showed up she would either not call me or call me really late. So I was at prayer and the time just kept rolling by. It was 730, then it was 8, then it was 830, then it was 9, then it was 930 and finally it was 10...

By this time our prayer group had rellocated to Red Robin [our favorite joint], we were all starving and I was trying to get information out of Todd becuase I knew that if Ryan was in North Dakota Todd would know. But Todd excells at acting and wouldn't budge. So I just sat eating my fries and sipping my milkshake wondering what the heck could be happening in my friends life.


FINALLY, after texting her hundreds and hundreds of times later, Kaylee calls me. FINALLY. I ran out of Red Robs and was like "Kaylee, what is going on?" And then she was trying to be all nonchalant, like nothing ever happened. She said "What do you mean is going on?" I was like "Girl if you don't tell me right now what just happened to you I am not going to be happy." So she proceeded to tell me slowly but surely the story we all now know as the courtship of Ryan and Kaylee.

Then they told me I was sworn to secrecy for an entire week!! They made me promise not even to tell my mom. Not tell my mom??? I tell my mom everything!! But in Rys words "Morgan, shut your big yapper!" So I hung up with Kaylee trying to breathe and refocus myself so I could go back into Red Robs and pretend like I hadn't just found out the most amazing news ever. Todd texted me and simply said "foods here." [I had been starving earlier]. I walked into Red Robin and made eye contact with ROb and Todd who now knew that I knew. I gave Todd a high five [becuase Kaylee and him have this thing where she always says "give Todd a high five for me"] then I sat down and simply said "I lost my appetite." The whole dinner I was too excited to eat and no one would leave. Me, Todd and Rob finally pretended to leave so we could talk about it. I sat in my car, drove around the parking lot then got back out and me and Todd and Rob screamed at the top of our lungs. Laughing and giggling all night long. And then we kept our secret for a whole week...oh it was hard but we made it- it was all better when Kaylee walked in on Sunday morning and I got to hug her for the first time.

We had a blast with them, watching their new relationship grow. I am so happy, so happy for them. They are simply perfect together. I couldn't have picked anyone better for Ry than Kaylee and Kaylee definitely deserved someone as awesome as Ryan. They are immensely cute together and I am very blessed and honored to call them my friends. What a great great adventure this is going to be and I am so glad to be a part of it. Love you both!!

Just some thoughts...

Have you ever noticed that when you have a dream sometimes it is the hardest thing to hold onto. Sometimes I think of it like a little kid who wants a lollipop really really bad. She wants this lollipop more than anything in that moment. She is consumed by thoughts of licking and loving this sole piece of candy. The desire for the sucker only intensifies when she sees other kids with one. "Mommy, mommy please can I have a sucker??", she cries only to hear her mom say "Not right now, you have to eat dinner first." IN other words, she is not ready for the sucker. Suckers are good but only if its the right timing. SO are dreams. I believe that God wont reveal His dream to us until we are ready to handle the impossibility of it. Just like a little girl wanting a sucker I remember always wanting to know "what I would be when I grew up." I remember always wanting to do something that would change the world. I wanted to be a superhero. I knew what my passions were, I knew what I loved, but I didn't have a dream. A dream is only an idea until it is interlaced with the passion of Gods heart.
I've also noticed something else that happens when little kids get suckers. Other kids start gathering around this lollipop loving "friend" hoping that they too might get the key to the secret lollipop stash. Or if not a key then at least a lick so that they too can feel important enough to have a lollipop. Don't find your identity in other peoples dreams and don't let other people rob you of the power of your dream. It truly is yours. It was why you were created. If you have a dream then hold on to it as tight as you can. Let it fuel you. Let it motivate you. God has given it to you because it was the right time for you to believe the impossible. Other people might come and try to tell you that your dream is nothing more than a good idea and sometimes even the people with the best intentions can try to make you drop your dream. But hold on to it. Don't let it go. It's what makes you feel alive. It's that feeling you get when you can say "i was created to do this." That how I feel when I paint, when I draw. Its how I feel when I am ministering to a young girls heart. Yes. Yes. Surely I was created for this.

I got wasted....

So my Valentines day adventure....and let me tell you what an adventure it was. I will now re-tell the account of my day exactly as it happened

3.ooam- Alarm clock rings. Time to get ready for work. I showered and briskly left. It was early. Very very early. I blared Kim Walkers new cd and worshipped with the windows rolled down. "It just makes me so...silly" Haha. I picked up my agnostic cowoker and showered her with the presence of the Lord. Come on!!

4.30 am- Been at work for approximately twenty minutes. Me and my coworker are talking, she is always curios about my dating life and seeing as it is valentines day she was extra curios. I told her about courtship, I told her about my life and what I believe. She said that most "Christians" she met turned her off so quickly to God but she said that me and Braden [who I also work with] are giving "God a very good name" in her mind!! COME ON JESUS. He can heal the hardest of hearts!!!

11.00 am- off of work. So much coffee I don't think I am going to be able to sleep for hours. Text message from Todd "Its singles awarness day...we got to party"

11.00am-5.00pm- Much deliberation about our plan of action for the night. Was it movies and ice cream at my house or was it braving downtown seattle for a night on the town. Finally after much talking me, Todd and James decided to go downtown to meet up with Tyson, Jerbarco, Kati and Larissa. It was settled.

5.45 pm- My mom thinks it would be best if we take the bus so that way we don't have to pay for parking or stress about finding parking.

5.46 pm- I present the idea to Todd and James. We're a bunch of preps. We don't take buses. But it might be fun and it could be an adventure.

6.20 pm- Todd and James arrive at my house for our grand adventure. We hop into James' car with a $1.25 each in quarters. We felt like little kids going to a lollipop store...very giddy and very nervous. We decided to catch the bus at the 108st park in ride in Bellevue. So we drove for a good twenty minutes just to get to the place where we would catch the bus. While doing this we were listening to some major worship music. And you know that whenever worship music comes on me and Todd and James just can't stay sober...so yes, we got drunk. We sat in the park and ride, drinking Jesus, waiting for the bus to come.

7.07 pm- The 255 to Seattle arrives. We drunkily stumble out of the car and onto the bus. We talk ad get lost in conversation.

7.27 om- I look up. The streets look a little familiar. "Guys, why are we in Houghton, shouldn't we be going the other direction??". Looks of horror cross our faces. The bus was going the wrong way!! Whats a bunch preps to do. We don't ride the bus. We don't know its world. So after much thought we decided that buses go in circles so if we stay on it long enough we'll end up in Seattle.

7.45 pm- The 160th st exit park n' ride. We were the last people on the bus as the bus driver says "This is my last stop." Todd, showing the true sheltered boy that he is, inquisitively asks "Does that mean we have to get off." Duh!

7.46 pm- We are now off the bus standing on the side of the freeway. Surely another bus going to Seattle would come through. We looked at the little bus list on the bus pole and it said teh 311 bus would come at 7.57 and take us to Seattle. So we waited.

8.05 pm- No bus. Are you sure it said 7.57? We go look over at the sign again...oh wait, that bus only runs morning routes. It means 7.57 AM!! The aweful realization of our predicament hits us. We are stranded on the side of the freeway, no more buses are coming, our car is twenty miles away and all the people who could pick us up are out on Valentines dates or already in downtown Seattle. Hmmm.

8.1opm- Hmmmmm

8.11 pm- James decides to call our new friend Joshua Freshour. Maybe he could pick us up. He calls him and leaves a message.

8.15 pm- Me and Todd try walking through the bus stop wall. No luck. Then we try levatating off of the curb, still no luck.

8.25 pm- Joshua calls. He is going to be our hero!! He was getting ready for bed but he will come pick us up.

8.45 pm- After an hour of waiting on the side of the freeway our knight in shining armor [or a white focus] pulls up. Surely we are saved.

9.00 pm- We decide to go to the Rose Hill starbucks because our fingers are officially frozen. We get awesome delicious coffee and then back in Josh's car and onward to downtown Seattle [We WOULD get there!!]

9.20 pm- We arrive in downtwon Seattle. After all that work to take the bus, we stil lended up parking and paying for it. Oh well. We go find Tyson....Jerbarco had already fallen asleep. Then Kati and Larissa join us. Now what? We have to many minors in our group so we can't go to any happy hours so we just start walking around downtown. Nothing is open. We run into Chris and ROni. I think we interrupted a "moment" if you know what I mean.

10.00 pm - There is absolutely nothing to do. We are all cold and we are all hungry. So the new plan is drive back to my house. We ended up only actually being in Seattle for around a half hour...

10.30 pm- Back at my house. We had been listening to worship music and talking about revival on the way back. We were feeling the presence of the Lord so thick. Josh decided to take us all tho heaven. We grabbed hands and invited the Lord...

This is where I lose track of time. We had our eyes closed and I was trying to go to Heaven. I never suceeded but the strangest thing happened to my body. Josh was praying for us and he touched my forehead, right around the temples. AS soon as he did that my eyes felt like they were on fire!! The fire moves around inside my head- like God was purifying my mind and purifying my thoughts and purifying my eyes. My body started shaking uncuntrollably. I got so wasted! Everyone was out in the Sprit. I just layed on teh couch not able to move because the presence of God was all over us. He was there all night!! We worshipped, we prayed, we prophecied. Oh SHABBA. Come on. Woah. We ended the night at about 2 in the morning.

I was tired. I had been up for twenty three hours. I woke up this morning still drunk. Actually I am drunk right now I think. Woah. COme on. Haha.

Lord I just release your power over anyone reading this. Woah. Come one. Woah. Just your heart to Him...let Him invade you. Come on. SHOOBA. Woah..Its all around you...its all around you..

A tribute to Valentines Day...

Since its Valentines and I am single. [happy and single for sure but nonetheless single] I thought to myself "I wonder where all my love goes to if I am not giving it to one person". I mean its got to go somewhere until the time comes for it to be lavished on one individual. SO I started thinking about all the things I "love". And to name a few:

- I love my family. I love all my brothers- even when they are screaming at the top of their lungs, wrestling all over my feet and stinking up the place. I love my parents...they're my heros and I trust them with my life. I feel empty if I don't talk to my mom everyday and my dad is my rock.

- I love my friends. I would start naming them but there are simply to many. Well what the heck [warning : I gots lots of love so I am separating into categories]:

Disciplers/Mentors
Veronica: my discipler and dearest friend. She has saved me from myself to many times to count. I would not be in the place I am today if it wasn't for her. I love her!
The Stevies: My second family!!! I love you guys so much. I would not have been able to do my MC year without you. Thank you for letting me be a part of your family and puting up with me through all my stuff. There is no family like your family!
Kelsey: my role model and constant guide. She has helped me through some of the toughest areas of my life and is one of my greatest fans. We don't talk nearly enough but she is always there for me and for that I am grateful
Biance: I am sure I tortured her to no end when she lived with me but I think that made her love me all the more. She is the complete opposite of me but continues to guide me in ways I didn't even know existed.
Candace: My sister forever and always. I could go for months without talking to her but we have a bond deeper than sisters. She knows me inside and out and I trust her completely
Hopie: One of my favorites!! Never have I had so much fun then when making mischief with Hope. I wish I was around her more, I wish I saw her more but I know that any time I do we can start right where we left off.
Growing up friends [and beyond]-
Kati- We've been through some rough times but its just made us stronger and closer. Too many good times to count...hair models all day long. I know we'll be friends for life.
Elise: So glad to be in her wedding!!! A friend who is a friend til the end. Doesn't matter if we talk everyday or don't talk at all. One of the loyalest and genuine people I have ever met.
Ryan: One of the best guy friends a girl could wish for. Loving protective and thoughtful. I don't know anyone who doesnt feel 100% safe around him
Tyson: A solid rock. He is always willing to listen and to be a shoulder when I need one. He's always been there and always will be there. A faithful, faithful man.
Rob: I can't believe this guy will eat anything!! He is a true brother though. He lived with my family during his MC year and our relationship has only strengthened since then.
Tiffany: I don't see her much anymore but we have a strong bond. From backyard tomboys to Jesus' princesses, its been quite the journey!!

...thats just a few

Now some MC friends:
Larry girl: My favorite secret spot partner. We've cried a lot of tears and laughed a lot laughs. Once an MC sister always an MC sister!!
Bryan: My crazy house brother. Will you ever move??? Haha!! Just like a brother to me. One of the fam forever!
ToddEH- From the first van ride where we got miserably lost in MCs to getting completely drunk in the spirit last week- a friend for life!
Connie- PP!!! Need I say more?
Aimers- Always a rock and faitfhul faithful friend!! I love you
Ricky- You were the best carpool driver!! I miss you and all of our conversations in front of the stevies house late at night!
Cami- My faithful, faithful intern and friend. You got me through some tough times and I will be grateful forever!! Now I just enjoy taking over the world with you!
Andrea- We had to much I think we should ahve gotten in trouble several times. SO many good memories with you- I cherish every one.
Melissa- I cherish your friendship! I never would have thought in High School that we would be as close as we are now but I am so glad we are.
Anna- It's been crazy. Now your courting Bryan. Magic must happen when you live in my house. Haha. Thanks for being steady and not holding any of those mean things I did against me.
Kara- Youa re such a woman of God!

And last years class...

Abby, Braden, Joel, Amanda, Ivory, Stephanie- You are all the greatest. I love you guys and so glad I got to spend some of thsoe awesome moments with you.

And this years class who I am still getting to know...

Erik- your my brother forever.
Levi- little brother- we have the coolest handshake!!!
Shaners- housebrother- I killed a crow!
Courtney- I love you girl!! More than you know!!
Kortie Grace- My sister twice removed in time...we shared the same bed and family. I love you and have enjoyed every moment of getting to know you
Charlli- You are precious and pure. I love you...you have beautiful eyes ;)
Elsa- You rock my world!! Can't believe how much alike we are...its almost scary!

And lets see...my youth group

Rachel- I LOVE YOU. You are my sunshine. You always make me happy
Anthea- You are so gangster I love it!! You seriously rock!!
Madison- So steady and so fun. I love every time I get to spend with you.
Addie- You have such a depth to you that not everyone sees. I love you girl!
Ashley- You are so fun. SO FUN. Buttercreamers all the way!!! I love you so so much!
Jordyn- You are so beautiful and pure. I lvoe it when you dance. It brings me closer to Him all the time.
Ramah- Your my girl forever!!
Morgan- Still getting to know you, but the bits I saw at Redding were out of control!!! You are so fun and hey, who can forget basketball season. Stealer of my name!! I love ya!

[don't kill me if i forgot you!!!]

Now for some new friends:
Julie- Its been a blast getting to know ya. So glad you came. Take over that fashion world!!
Chris- Your marrying my discipler which makes you my discipler. Your my brother for real.
Rose- Meow!! Your like my favorite find of the month right now!! I just love ya Drink with me anytime.
James- Its been so fun getting to know you! You've always been around but seeing the depths of you is so much fun!! Prophetic arts will change the world!!
Barco- Your my favorite black person!! Granted like the only one I know but still my favorite! Red Robs for fries??
Kaylee- Last but not least. I cherish who you are and I will love you forever!! Miles cannot separate us! Full moons and warm bread anyday girl. "If you just realize..."

WOW...I love a lot of people!! And there is probably way more that I missed!! Wow its refreshing just thinking of all those wonderful people!!

Hmmm...

I also love good food, good movies, good music. I love it when its raining outside and you have no where to go and you can snuggle up on a couch with hot cocoa. I love coffee. I love art. I love it when its that first day of summer and you don't need a jacket anymore. I love swimming in the ocean and feeling so small yet so free. I love living this life because God is SO good and He has me in His hands. Walking with Him is the best Valentines day gift ever, except we get to do it everyday!!! What a joy!!

Ok thats my very long tribute now I am done

"We are not DRUNK as you suppose"

The Doing's

So my life for the past couple days has been quite the whirlwind. Filled with adventure and turmoil, joy and pain, nights and days, experiencing the presence of God and the limitlessness of man. Through it all I have seen the goodness of God. I have experienced His love to the fullest. I have danced with my daddy to whatever tune played. Let me explain...

Exactly one week ago from today was Jesus Culture Redding. A group of us fearless leaders took about 25 10-12th graders to California for the best youth conference that exists! Let me tell you what an adventure it was. It took us a ridiculous amount of hours, driving in the stuffy white vans to finally reach our first destination: Medford, Oregon, where a loving church had opened their doors for us to spend the night. All of the girls slept in one room on the squeakiest cots EVER. If you even breathed through the wrong nostril these cots let you know about it. But we got over the noise because we didn't sleep there long anyways...just a short three hours. A nap really because then it was off to Redding.

Now I went to California with high expectations. I hoped to leave the dreary winter behind me and pursue a life of warmth and flip flops. Surely the Lord did not want to withhold one good thing from me on this trip...but to my dismay there was no warmth. There was no sun. There were no beaches anywhere in sight. There was only snow...lots and lots of snow. Five feet of snow easily graced the banks of the passes as we drove through them. We were all dumbfounded because of course we start to slowly die when we get a mere three inches. You can only imagine what five feet of snow was doing to our nervous systems!! It wasn't pretty. But at he same time it was beautiful. Snow, I have decided, is one of the most beautiful things He created- perhaps that is why purity is linked to the whiteness of snow. But we finally emerged from the treachorous mountains and into the heart of our beloved city Redding.

We checked into our hotel at about 1 in the afternoon. We showered and took naps and got ourselves ready to experience the "Jesus Mosh Pit" as we like to call it. We went to JC and unfortunately our group had not checked in on time and the main convention center was sold out. We were stuck in the overflow room which actually took place at the church. There was live video feed of Dutch Sheets...and to our amazement, live video feed of worship. Now somehow they expected us to worship to tvs. We didn't really know what to do with that. Our stage was empty, our stage was bear...people had flooded the front to the "Jesus Mosh" for what??- to watch the t.v.s of Kim Walker leading worship 10 miles a way from us. Hmmmmm....definitely the most interesting worsip experience I have ever encountered. That kind of put the whole night on a interesting foot for me, and if I am honest that night I didn't get much becuae I shut myself down. All I remember from that night was traveling to my beloved IN AND OUT afterwards to have my much awaited, much drooled after DOUBLE DOUBLE ANIMAL STYLE!!!! Enough said...

The next morning we eagerly awoke and headed to the conference, wondering what they had planned for us that day. To our great delight they had arranged for Brian and Jen Johnson to lead worship- which was AWESOME!!! And then we went into workshops. There were two workshops, I don't quite remember the first one but the second one was awesome. The second one was led by a youth pastor named Scott who was absolutely hilarious!! He spoke on healing evangelism and it was awesome. We had all heard it before but he made it sound new and refreshing. And he let us encourage him by saying "milk that cow" or "shake that tree"- those lingoes have indeed stuck with us so that whenever we hear some good preaching you may hear some youth pipe up saying "MMMM MILK THAT!!!" Oh Good times. That afternoon we got Dutch Sheets- up close and personal. He talked about Revival!!! COME ON. He released us into our destinies and called out the passion in us. There is just something inspiring when a father figure calls out destiny in the generation under him. Its powerful and cannot be stopped by any force. He talked about how God is an everlasting God...meaning He doesn't only see what is ahead He also sees what was in the past. He can take any of our mistakes, any of our shames, any of the things we wish we could take back- He can go back and change those!!! He is not bound to time. He is not a man that He is subject to our faults. He can erase our past and put us into our destiny becuase He is an Everlasting God!! Nothing is to big, nothing is to great, nothing is impossible for HIm. We have no excuse not to create revival in anything and everything we touch!!!!

That night was when the fire came!!! Up to that night I had experienced the Lord in a very deep and sobering way. Sometimes when you realize that the Lord is in love with you, you can't move, you can't breathe, you can't talk, all you can do is sit and enjoy Him. And that was where I was until Saturday night- just enjoying the presence of the Lord and giving my all to Him!! The theme song of the conference that they sang over and over was "You Won't Relent" by Misty Edwards. That song rocks me! I hear that song and I can't do anything but fall on ym face before the Lord. "You wont relent until You have it all, my heart is yours....I'll set You as a seal upon my heart, as a seal upon my arm. FOr there is love that is as strong as death, jelousy demanding as the grave and many waters cannot quench this love!!...Come be the fire inside of me come be the flame upon my heart! Come be the fire inside of me, until You and I are one" And I would listen to it over and over again and just let the Lord take it all. And it was deep and it was cleansing and it was healing and it was beautiful. But the Saturday night was when the Lord let me get drunk!! Because we were in overflow we had all the School of the Supernatural students ministering to us and we were wrecked. I just remember sitting with Rose up in the front saying "God would You invade us...would You wreck us??" And He came and when you experience joy like that, love like that, you cannot and never will be the same. Its AWESOME. Whats more awesome is that its not an emotional high. Its not a weekend conference that we go to and never experience again. God is the same everywhere. His joy is the same. His love is the same. He's not a bigger God in Redding than He is in my room. He doesn't grow because of conferences. He is the same!! He is everlasting!! When I encounter God...that encounter sustains!! And its awesome!!

Three days ago i was in the ER experiencing something I hope to never experience again. But tonight I choose against my pain and went to homegroup and you know what I found out- God is the same. He doesn't change. He loves us. He cares about us. And He is GOOD! The timing might change, the setting might change but He doesn't. Just because in the last song you were swing dancing, and the song before that you were waltzing and now you are just slow dancing doesn't change the fact that you are dancing with your Daddy!!!