How Abandoned....

Tonight is Saturday night. My favorite night of the week. It's the night when a small group of us gets together at the church to shake things up in the supernatural realm a little bit. Its the night when the world goes to bars, people go to the theaters and others just hang out. But there are a few of us who decided that our first priority on a Saturday night is to war and to fight and to experience the presence of the Lord in a way that can't be matched. Tonight was a small core group. About five or six of us and then some of the MCs. I came in late because I got off of work at seven. As I walked out of my car in the parking lot I could already hear the loud pounding of worship against the walls. Sometimes I forget that worship desires to be let out of the building. It desires to be known by all. Sometimes I wonder why we always worship in one place. What would happen if we took our worship to the streets...we probably wouldn't lift our hands the same...but thats a completely different thought.

Revival Culture prayer always has a new twist every night. Some nights its sobering, some nights we experience "drunkenness" and other nights there is a little bit of both. Tonight was the latter. I walked in and immediately know I would be drunk tonight. I couldn't stop laughing and just enjoying the presence of the Lord. At one point we got into a circle and just started praying for Firestorm. In the process we decided to be Firestorm. Todd was doing his twitch, I was doing mine, Chris was all over the place, others were laughing and some just didn't know what to do with us. But sometimes when the Lord moves like that there is absolutely nothing you can do except move with Him. I will never tire of watching drunk people pray. Its the best because they no longer know what is coming out of their mouth, its purely the Lord moving through them. Its powerful and exciting. Well tonight was one of those nights, and I just LOVED it. It had been a long time since I have felt that kind of passion and it was definitely time. We prayed that we would be BURNING ONES.

I have been realizing more and more that as much as we want to be burning ones...God wants us to be that more. There was a song we sang tonight that said "How far will You let me go, how abandoned will You let me be...". The answer to that is "As far as you want, as abandoned as you dare." Could we handle complete abandonment? What would that look like. I think there is a part of me that is scared of that idea. There is part of me that wants to be in control...that wants to know what my future holds and know how I am going to get there. But then I think to myself of those times when I lose myself in Him. Is there really anything better? I feel complete when I am lost in Him. I feel secure when I forget about myself and dwell on Him. I feel like I can do anything when I remember I can do nothing. I feel alive when I am dead to myself. I feel safe when I am abandoned. Its a backwards Kingdom and I don't understand it but I love it. I am scared of Him taking complete control of my life but at the same time I want nothing more. What would happen if we became completely abandoned to Him? What would happen if we trusted Him unconditionally? What would happen if we quit fearing man and feared Him alone? What would happen if we pray what He prays and go where He goes? What would happen if we didn't care about our plans and were consumed with His? Those are just my questions to myself at the moment....