What Am I Waiting For?

At the beginning of this year the Lord gave me a promise. He said "Morgan, this year something BIG is going to happen in your life. I am going to bust open your world and change it radically from the inside out." I heard that on New Years Eve as I was sitting in my room and I believed it. I was excited and could hardly wait to count down the seconds to the year where all my dreams would come true. But that's just the thing...all I've been doing is waiting. All I have been doing is sitting here wondering when this big opportunity was going to be dropped in my lap. I have even said "God you DO remember what You said right??" I realize its only been a half of a month but I have ALOT of dreams and I have been promised ALOT and I thought that maybe I would see something come about just like clockwork.

Now I am not saying all that to express my doubt and unbelief, my ungratefulness or negativity in the Lord. Quite on the contrary. It has revealed to me the pride, apathy and lack of initiative I am experiencing right now. And the question lingers: What AM I waiting for?

At youth group tonight I was struck by the words that kept flowing out of my mouth. I was completely preaching to myself. We spoke on the theme of New Beginnings and taking dominion in our lives. And I realized one thing: I cannot be a person who is always waiting for God to give me something more. I know that God's desire is to give me more but not if I am not actively searching that "more" out. The way I see it now is that if I go and knock on a door just to see if it opens and it doesn't, but instead the one next to it opens, at least I had myself positioned in a place where I could see the neighboring door. If I am just home, sitting on my couch eating potato chips, how am I going to see any door that God wants to open in my life? I need to at least be in the neighborhood of where God is working.

We were not created to be a passive people. We were made to fight and to strive for something. God honors effort and He honors initiative. One of my favorite quotes says, "If the Holy Spirit is not moving then I will move the Holy Spirit!" What is stopping me from getting everything God has promised me right now? I know God does not withhold one good thing from us...so if He doesn't withhold it from us, then we must not be reaching high enough or running fast enough. The lack of abundance, the lack of fulfilled dreams, the lack of practiced passions...thats not Gods fault, thats not Him "tricking" us. The lack in our life is simply from us not fighting for Him as hard as we should.

So I am done waiting. I am done being familiar with the good things in my life. I know that the generations before me have fought and fought so that I might be where I am today. But one thing I must gain for myself: figuring out what I personally must fight for. What door should I be knocking on? What neighborhood should I be in? AM I even in the right city? The right state? I hope so but if I am not then I at least know how to read a map and get there....